I woke up this morning after a weekend vacation. Feeling calm and relaxed, a sense that everything would be alright. While following my morning regimen of checking my goals from the previous night, meditating, checking mail and practicing manifestation I came across an article, about how you can’t change the world and it’s OK not to. It concluded with how you can only change yourself.
This was the determination we here at Zenratstudios had made a long time ago. I recall a person I once spoke to whose pastime was causing pain to others. I asked her question after question about her life, probing deeper before she snapped back, Why do you always ask so many questions! Because I said if I can understand you, if I can understand the world around me, I can learn how to save it. I can save you, I can save the world, I can save everybody.
Well first she said, you have to stop saying you want to save people. That will create resistance, it causes walls to come up. I shared with her my insights on the world, all the pain, and what it needed, more love I said. And she replied and SECOND what if people don’t want to change, what if they don’t want more love, what if they are happy with where they are, with how things are. That was the moment that a woman I once labeled as sociopath taught me a profound lesson. Focus on yourself she finished it off. Don’t worry about the rest of the world, don’t worry about me. Focus on you.
I retreated into my cave and I sat atop my mountain and I looked down at the world meditating. Looking for a solution to the worlds problems. I had spent forever trying to ‘fix’ me, trying to figure out what was broken in my mind, to save me. And then once I had found a solution I’d turn my attention onto others only for my insecurities, flawed thinking and zealous ideology to become no better than Religious dogma. I laid in bed listening to Alan Watts and reading books on Shamanism, I delved deep into Buddhism and wore that hat for some time, I joined martial arts, I meditated and practiced manifestation, trying to change my brain and the neurons will fully inspired by Wim HOFF and the torture king who had changed their responses to pain. I read book after book from spiritual guru, I read Anthony De Mello’s The Way To Love, but what about the way to changing the world?
And that’s when it dawned on me. The world is perfect, you are perfect, we are all perfect where we are, we are exactly where we need to be and we all contain within us a Hero that is waiting to break through, and it’s up to each of us individually to save ourselves to chip away at our exterior, to find our hearts to make that happen. And surprisingly there are a lot of people in our world who don’t want us to do that. It’s almost as if we need permission to love, permission to be free, permission to discover ourselves, to let our hair down, to have an adventure without facing rejection, backlash or assaults.
It wasn’t enough for me to be aware of this alone, because I was still sitting on top of a mountain, looking at the world, observing it, judging it. What did it need. Love. Who did it need it from, was it you? No. The answer was me. I needed to be more loving, more understanding, more compassionate. I needed to get off the mountain and step down, I needed to heal my heart of all the wounds and insecurities. I need to look deep within. In another bout of suffering I turned to the stars, finding comfort in the mythologies of astrology. Laugh if you will but it was from this place, from reading the astrology and natal charts of others, and of myself that I realized a pattern. We’re all in this together, we’re all on this floating rock trying to make sense of a messy and chaotic world together. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’re able, we’re all trying to cope with our lives.
It was that moment that I stopped seeing myself as separate from the world but rather one with it, and it is from that, that the words Saving The World became synonymous with ‘Saving myself’, a life-long battle and journey. I set out on a mission. Not everyone is meant to be a Leader, we are herd animals by nature, but everyone is meant and is fully capable of being a Hero. Hidden within each of us is a gem, just waiting to be uncovered and unleashed. I am on a mission to help uncover those Heroes, to bring them all out to the forefront, to build a better world, one person at a time. For every Hero that comes out from the shadows and touches the lives of another 4 more are born.